45. I Love The Paths That I Invent

Good things come to those that walk

“Hello little girl,” whispered a little girl to Sharon as she approached her.

“I am a big girl. I am not little like you,” Sharon replied. “I can drive a car, I have a job, I have a house, and now, guess what? I have a little baby inside me.”

The child, puzzled, asked softly, “Why are you crying?”

Sharon, caught off guard, replied, “I am not crying. I just got something in my eye. That’s all.”

What Sharon didn't mention was that her husband had left her for someone else. She was sitting outside his apartment, having just pleaded with him to reconsider, when this curious little girl appeared.

“Walk with me, Sharon,” the girl whispered.

Startled, Sharon looked at her, eyes wide.

The girl smiled. “After all these years, you still don’t know?”

She took Sharon's hand and began:

“Ask and you might not receive

Seek and you might not find

Knock and it might not open

Why not just walk down the street?

No maps

No signs

Just the street before you

Keep walking into the unknown

Curiously, without a hurry

No patterns to find

No dots to join

Just walking

Walking through the crowds

Walking in the rain

Walking in sun

Walking in the wind

Walking in the snow

Walking the dog

Walking with the old lady

Walking with the homeless man

Walking barefoot

Then with shoes on

Walking slow

Then walking fast

Walking smoothly

Then walking woogey, woogey

Walking with big steps

Then with small steps

Walking straight

Then walking in a zig-zag

Then with your head up

Then with your head down

Then with your eyes closed

Okay, that’s scary so just for a little

Pause at the traffic light

Then keep walking

Hum a song

Then shhhh, listen closely

Then ignore everything

Then feel everything

All while walking

One foot after the other

Which foot does not matter

Which street does not matter

Ser-en-dip-tit-titiously curious

Oh, look over there! Wow!”

She looked into the eyes of Sharon and said, “Well that’s what my mama says. She said that is how we make our own path. But now I am going to go ride my bicycle and then eat a whole donut. ” With a quick wave, she was gone.

Often, things never turn out the way we want. Life surprises us. We know we cannot control these outcomes no matter how hard we try. But there is something we can control that could completely change our experience of life. What if you could learn to love what you do and to do it in a way you love and connect to? Sharon, from the story, faces the challenge of potentially raising a baby by herself. She has to deal with the heartbreaking rejection from her husband. She has to figure out how to cope with this struggle so it seems. But what if she approached her problems differently? I am not saying she should ignore her emotions. I am saying “necessity is the mother of all invention” and there is an opportunity for invention here. I think that is what the child is trying to tell her. 

"I love the paths that I invent, the useless relationships, the things without fame, and all that is only valid for me." 
- (Jacques Chardonne)

Sharon has an opportunity to make her own pathway. Instead of focusing solely on the immediate problems she faces, she can think about the bigger picture. Maybe one day that little one who spoke to her will be her daughter and remember how her mama dealt with the hardships she faced. The daughter could pass this knowledge forward to her kids and so on. 

Stewart Brand talks about the importance of pathways.

“Goals are not all that interesting to me, but pathways are. The strategic pathway I was trying to encourage with Whole Earth Catalog was one that empowered people to do pretty much anything they wanted, rather than try for one specific achievement. Religious scholar James P. Carse talks about this difference in his book, Finite and Infinite Games. In a finite game, you’re fighting to win. In an infinite game, you’re doing everything you can, not only to keep the game going, but also to keep it interesting. The infinite game is a direction. The finite game is a goal.”
- Stewart Brand

If you are wondering where to start if you want to invent your own paths then think about this.

"Finite players play within boundaries; infinite players play with boundaries "
- James P. Carse, Finite and Infinite Games

We want to be infinite players in this context playing the infinite game of making pathways where there are none. What boundaries are there and how can you play with them?

I will end this cryptic post with one more quote.

"The greatest victory is that which requires no battle. "
- Sun Tzu