39. How I Work

I am not the kind of person that commits to an action regardless of my feelings, but I am the kind that may explore an action until intrinsic motivation is found.

A comprehensive (verbose) description is:

"Undertaking a methodical and reflective journey of discovery to identify and cultivate a deep-seated, personal drive and enthusiasm for the activity, achieved through a process of trial, experimentation, and introspective evaluation, aimed at uncovering and aligning with one's core values and interests until a sustainable, internalized motivation naturally emerges and propels ongoing engagement."

I have a natural inclination to solve problems. I have fun when I do it. I am also solving problems my way. Instead of trying to push myself to do something which rarely succeeds I try to have fun while looking for fun in the activity I should do. The problem changes from how to endure suffering to how to have fun. While I might not succeed in having fun, or it takes longer to complete the task once I figured out how to have fun, I know for most of my life I tried very hard to force myself to do those things I should, but failed miserably. This naturally led to depression and shame. Solving for fun is a more optimistic approach. Maybe I do need to force myself to do a task and get it over with, but there's always the possibility of having fun, and that changes everything. 

How do you work?