13. Don't Make The Person Fit The Advice

Procrustes, a son of Poseidon, had an Airbnb. He invited everyone who passed by to spend the night. He was a warm and welcoming guy. He had a room just for you with a special bed or so the ad said. When you got to the room you noticed the special bed was either too small or too big, but you were there now and it was too late to find another place, so you had to live with it. Little did you know by morning you would have fitted the bed perfectly but wouldn’t be alive. Procrustes was known to stretch his victims or chop off their legs so they fitted the bed. That is what made it a special bed. Everyone fits eventually.

Often advice is given without considering how it fits the person. The person does their best to fit the advice. They may try to be more disciplined, believe in themselves, and never give up but it does not work. They then are told to “take responsibility for your life” and “set clear goals.” Sadly, the person ends up questioning their abilities and not the advice. They feel like a loser and that it is their fault. The advice must be right because the advice giver has shown it works, they think. The advice seems simple and well-constructed like a brick house but it is founded on the swamp of authority and not the bedrock of good explanations. If someone truly wants to help you they will take the time to understand what you need and what might work for you. They may use generalized advice as material for the suggestions they tailor to fit you but they recognize that you are the most important aspect. The advice is there to serve you.