11. Big Foggy Missing
Welcome to 'Big Foggy Missing'. Big Foggy Missing is a game where we get to play detective.
When we are overwhelmed by frustration, self-doubt, and despair we sometimes get lost in our emotions. It seems like there is no way out.
But what if the secret to finding a way out is for us to be a detective?
In 'Big Foggy Missing' our goal is to identify what is bigger than it should be, what is clouding how we see and think, and what is missing that should be there in our view of the world.
But here's the twist—we're not just asking; we're dissecting, and exploring the nuances of this puzzle, determined to uncover the truths hidden beneath.
Let's dive into the 'Big Foggy Missing'.
Have you ever wondered, 'Why can't I be like everyone else?'
We are not going to focus on answering this question. Instead, our focus is the question, where we break down the overwhelming parts and make it more focused.
Big
In this question what have you made bigger than it is?
Think about it.
“Why can’t I be like everyone else?”
Have you figured it out?
How big is “everyone”?
“Everyone” is huge. There are 8.1 billion people in the world.
Make it smaller.
What is the smallest you can make it?
“Why can’t I be like…Sarah?”
I think there is something else that is bigger than it is.
“Be” is also huge. “Be” in what way?
Every way? You want something specific.
What is it?
So now maybe you have something that looks like this
“Why can’t I be sociable and not awkward like Sarah?”
Foggy
Something is foggy. It is limiting how we see things.
What is it?
If you said “can’t” you are correct. “Can’t” means it is impossible.
So asking the question, “Why can’t I be…” is pointless if it is impossible but that may not be true. You most likely can be however you want to some extent. That would certainly be more than where you are now. So now we have the following:
“Why was I more awkward and not as sociable as Sarah?”
Missing
What could be missing?
Let’s go with something and see where we end up.
Maybe what is missing is when you want to become this ideal version of yourself. For some people, the word that is missing is “now”. They want to have those characteristics now or at some previous point. Including this insight into our new question:
“Why was I more awkward and not as sociable as Sarah at the party last weekend?”
Review
So let’s back up and review what we have done so far.
We started with:
“Why can’t I be like everyone else?”
Next, we realized “everyone” was too big so we made it smaller, and “be” was too big. This resulted in,
“Why can’t I be sociable and not awkward like Sarah?”
We noticed that “can’t” looked foggy so we cleared it up. This changed the question to,
“Why am I more awkward and not as sociable as Sarah?”
Finally, we noticed something was missing - time. This transformed the question into,
“Why was I more awkward and not as sociable as Sarah at the party last weekend?”
Now this is a question worth exploring.
Your problems are hard.
Don’t make them harder than they need to be.